“Indecision is debilitating; it feeds upon itself. . . often greater risk is involved in postponement than in making a wrong decision.”

• Harry A. Hopf

It’s easy to tell someone to “have confidence in yourself.” It’s a lot harder explaining what that means, or how to get some.

Self-confidence is a quality that needs to be grown and exercised, much like a muscle. Here’s one way:

Everything begins with one step: the decision to do it. Then, set a goal, like a New Year’s resolution, only smaller, one you will actually stick to doing. Something small like brushing your teeth every morning and night, or making your bed every day.

After you’ve done that consistently for two weeks, set another goal, then do it. It doesn’t have to be a big goal, just something that you will stick to doing. Perhaps, washing dishes every night after dinner.

When you stick to your decisions, you begin to respect yourself. That is the beginning of gaining self-confidence. It seems like a small thing, like planting an acorn, and after a while, it will have big results.

By the time you set a third goal, you will notice the start of feeling good about yourself. Like accomplishing something. You are. You’re growing.

Once you get the hang of setting goals for yourself, branch out to other tasks. Things like telling someone you will do something. Then, do it. That’s called “setting a deadline.”

When you set deadlines, no matter for what reason, and do it by the deadline, you gain a reputation for being responsible. This kind of character-building increases your reputation in the eyes of other people.

After you have set and met a number of deadlines, you become known as a person of your word. That’s when you will begin to appreciate the steps you’ve taken to build your self-confidence. When you keep promises, especially ones you made to yourself, that is how your self-confidence grows. -pfhoward,rn